Pairings
by ImJustNutty
Summary: Yuri's friends all seem to have warped ideas about Yuri's preferences in love. Basically this fanfic shows Yuri's response to pairings involving him. May expand to include other pairings with other people. May insult your favourite pairings! YuriXEstelle
1. YUK! YuriXFlynn

**It's actually been some time since I touched the Microsoft word to type a fanfic. My sch hols just started, but then, you probably don't care much about ym life and just want to get along with the fic, right?**

**Fine, then. Let the shi...i mean show, begin!**

**Basically this story, if you forgot the summary cuz you've got a uber slow computer like me, is about how all the people in the story think that Yuri likes somebody. If you actually support the pairing and I have painfully mocked it, well sorry, but this IS a fanfic, and I'm generally allowed to write whatever crap I want, right?**

**(dodges flying rotten tomatoes)**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Yuri left Flynn's room after congratulating him on his promotion. Flynn had definitely made a name for himself now, while Yuri had ....sort of....made a name too...except in Yuri's case, it was a bad name. It wasn't really impressive to show off a resume that included booting knights into big drains, even if the knight WAS a Tweedle....

"Ah wells, guess I better chat with the rest before catching some sleep," Yuri thought to himself. Stupid game rules, always making him lose sleep so he could go chat to the rest of the party about what? Useless stuff he could guess! Like, DUH Rita would be working on some ....spell thingy that no one understood, and Judith would be wandering off somewhere on her own to talk to one of the Entelexeia, while Raven would be....goofin' off.

His usual routine was to look for Estelle first, then whoever he would bump into later. He was always compelled to look for her first. He liked to think that it was because she was the trouble magnet, but, like Flynn teased earlier, he suspected it was because he _may_ have developed a _teeny weensy _crush on her. But Flynn liked to exaggerate, and make it seem as if he was totally in love with her or something.

"Idiot. "Yuri had responded when Flynn said something gross about Yuri and Estelle's relationship, after bonking him hard on the head.

Anyway, Yuri found Estelle without much trouble. She was gazing at the sky. He snuck up quietly behind her.

"I see one star, two stars...and look, one gigantic black thingy that's gonna eat the world!"

"Ahh! Yuri! I didn't hear you coming!" Estelle jumped a bit. She smiled at him, then went back to gazing at the sky.

"Um, you seem pretty distracted this fine night. What's on your mind?" Yuri asked. Inside, he was expecting the usual "Oh no the Adephagos is gonna eat up the world like a gummy ball and he can't do that cuz thats where I keep my stuff" speech, which would eat into his precious sleeptime.

What she DID say was a bit shocking.

"I'm thinking....well, um,....er...."

Yuri was a bit surprised. This is new, he thought.

"I was wondering....what the higher-ups would think about gay knights..."

"Gay knights?! That's what's on your mind? Why the sudden thought? " Yuri was surprised to say the least. I mean, here was a silly princess who came up with cheesy determination lines like "For the sake of this world, I must FIGHT!". Yeah, that sort of thing. And now, in the middle of mayhem, she's worried about GAY KNIGHTS?!

"Is this about Flynn?" Yuri questioned.

Estelle nodded.

"You think....Flynn is...gay?"

Estelle looked around, then nodded.

Yuri hid a chuckle. "So you're worried that your darling Flynn's gonna get convicted for being homosexual?"

"He is NOT my darling Flynn! And ....yes." Estelle murmured, finding Yuri's shoes very interesting all of a sudden.

"What makes you think that Flynn is gay? I mean, we're talking about the guy who had more fangirls than me and Schwann...I mean Raven combined, and you think..."

Estelle cut in. "You spend an awful long time in Flynn's room, like, ALONE, and that Sodia always come out of the room with a red face when she barges in, and Flynn always talks about you, and you guys know so much about each other..."

"That little pesky midget is always red in the face because she always blows her top when I'm around! Wait....you think I'M GAY?!" Yuri burst out laughing.

"Well, the evidence is clear in these tomes I found!" Estelle thrust a book at Yuri. It was quite new-looking. Yuri opened the book.

"_A collection of Fanfiction on Tales of vesperia_? What's fanfiction? What the HECK is "Tales of Vesperia"?!"

"I don't know, but all of us star in the stories written in it. Here, flip to page 53..." Estelle grabbed the pages.

"Read it aloud!" Estelle demanded, stepping back.

"Erm...okay..._Flynn faced Yuri eye to eye. "There's no escape, I'm taking you back to the capital!" With that, Flynn whipped his sword and cut Yuri, as Yuri was too slow to reac..._as if THAT ever happened! I could block Flynn's moves anyday!..._Yuri fell back and clutched at his arm, where blood flowed out. "Flynn....I thought we had something special between us....._ hey wait a minute...'

Yuri was too shocked by the crap he just read. Estelle grabbed the book. A little loudly, she read. "_And Flynn dropped in front of Yuri and said "We still do!" And he grabbed Yuri by the shoulders and they locked lips. Yuri was shocked, but not unpleased, and...."_

Yuri's jaw fell to the floor. "Like, EW?! Flynn's lips are like, one of the last things I'll ever want to touch! EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Estelle was confused and frustrated. "It was written in this book! It must be true!"

Yuri suddenly heard barfing noises. He turned to see Flynn, going green and barfing into his helmet.

"Hey Flynn, hope you're gonna clean that later...." Yuri smirked.

"I will, but first, what ATROCIOUS FICTION did Princess Estellise read?!" Estelle gave Flynn the book.

Flynn flipped it open, but he sort of passed page 53...

His jaw dropped.

"...."

"Um, Flynn, I didn't quite catch that..."

"!!!"

"Um,, I don't understand punctuation..." muttered Yuri. "Someone get me a dictionary...."

"Flynn, you're at the wrong......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" muttered Estelle

"PEOPLE! SPEAK in a LANGUAGE!"

"!!!" said Flynn and Estelle.

Yuri groaned. He snatched the book.

"_Rita pulled herself closer to Estelle. She ....."_

Yuri couldn't even read the second sentence. Together, the three of them shared Flynn's helmet as their barfing tub.

Half the stuff ended on the floor.


	2. YUK! YuriXRaven

**Thanks for the reviews for the first chapter guys!**

**Well, 3 reviews is already a big deal to me, so keep it going! The more reviews, the faster my inspiration speed. Trust me on that one.**

**So the last one was mocking YuriXFlynn, so today's one shall be YuriXRaven!**

**This is based on a pretty sick doujin I saw on , and even though i didn't quite understand it cuz' it was in JAPANESE, i think a picture really speaks a thousand words. (a thousand EW SICKS)**

**O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Estelle was worried.

She wasn't completely convinced that Yuri was straight, despite the fact that it was clear Flynn was.

Or was he? You never really knew, did you.

Estelle thought that everything on paper had to contain a grain of truth in it, but when she told Yuri, Yuri said that the only truth the book revealed was that a) there were plenty of sick freaks out there and b) he and Flynn had fans.

But Estelle was the Seeker of Truth! She wanted to confirm Yuri's sexuality!

Suddenly, Yuri became scrutinised under her watchful gaze. Suddenly, every contact he had with another male, whether it was throwing a life bottle to revive Karol, or even catching hold of Raven as he tried to run for a bar.....everything pointed to Yuri being ....

Argh, she was torn at the very thought!

So it was one particular day when Raven and Yuri were discussing something in private, when Estelle's "Argh-my-Yuri-appears-to-be-gay" sensors were going ballistic. When Raven walked off, her was straightening his cloak and Estelle's imagination went wild.

She ran to Yuri, who was examining his knife.

She paused. How was the best way to show to him and her that he was clearly not straight? She pulled out the book of Fanfiction. Flynn and Yuri had insisted that she burn it together with Flynn's helmet (which stank of barf despite numerous scrubs), but she had thrown in a decoy.

She hoped no one wondered where the synopsis book was.....

She flipped to a YuriXJudith. Strangely, her eyes always seemed to skip the YuriXEstelle sections. Maybe because they were like mirrors into her own life? She refused to think about it.

"_Judith wanted Yuri to see the light, and she locked lips with him. His eyes opened to meet her large ones, and he understood..."_

Estelle didn't really understand what the heck the crap was, but then she felt an overpowering urge to glare balefully at Judith all of a sudden.

But at least she understood what she had to do now.

Standing up and walking around the rock she had been hiding behind to confront Yuri, she found that he had disappeared.

"Didn't we tell you to burn that thing?"

"Ah!" Estelle jumped. Yuri was, expectedly, behind her. "HOW THE HECK DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?!" she exclaimed.

Yuri sighed. "Who do you think I'm gay with now?"

Estelle stifed an 'eep!'. She sighed, then filled her lungs with air.

"You like Raven, you...you...PERSON WHO LIKES OLDER MEN!"

Yuri's jaw dropped to the ground. Pulling it up, he dug his finger into his ear.

"Sorry I think I might have got some dust in my ear. Did you just say you thought I liked RAVEN?!"

Estelle hesitated at Yuri's response, but nodded.

Yuri repeated his earlier action of jaw dropping, picking it up, but then he laughed.

Then he saw that the silly princess that he oh-so-liked was frowning.

Trouble was, Estelle wasn't quite sure whether she still had to resort to her earlier plan. It seemed that he was pretty sure that he was straight, but....was he fooling himself, fooling Raven, fooling......Flynn?!

Alright, that did it. Estelle launched herself at Yuri. She kissed him on the lips, the way she had learnt from dutifully studying the fanfiction book and needless to say, Yuri was shocked.

I mean, it would be lying to say that Estelle was the first girl to had ever touched his lips (C'mon, which guy never ever kissed a girl in his life before hitting 21? Hitting the taverns with Flynn at 16, being known as the town rascal....not exactly a girl repeller....)

So, yes, he had had some experience.

So he knew what he was doing when his arms went around her waist and he kissed back.

On the other hand, Estelle hadn't really been expecting this.

"Ahh!..."She pushed away in shock. Yuri looked questioningly at her. I mean, this WAS a strange turn of events, after all. Some girl thinks you're gay, confronts you, then starts smooching you. You go along with it cuz you like her and you suspect she likes you too, then she pushes away in shock, when all along, she started it.

It was enough to make a fanfiction writer inspired.

"Yuri..."she whispered.

"Okay, I don't quite get you. You think I'm gay then you smooch me? And then I go along and you get surprised? What, I'm not a good kisser enough for ya?"

"No...I mean...you're fine and all...."

"Then shall we get along with it?" Yuri continued with Estelle's making out section.

Fortunately, Estelle was too befuddled to realise what her original intentions were.

Well, Yuri had more or less figured out what she had in mind, and just hoped that Estelle would finally get into her dumb head that HE WAS NOT FRIGGIN' GAY.

Unfortunately.....

**SNEAK PEAK INTO NEXT CHAPTER:**

"_**Why do you like Zagi, Yuri?"**_

"_**Like WTH?!?!?!"**_

_**O0o0o0o0o0o**_

**Hehe sry i think the chapter was TOO YuriXEstelle, but then I totally support YuriXestelle, so....expect more.**

**Anyway, the person who thinks that YuriXZagi is a great idea isn't Estelle this time. Actually I have no clue who its gonna be, so REVIEWS and give me an idea on who the idiot who thinks Yuri likes Zagi (or vice versa) should be.**

**Toodle doo! Not much of the YuriXRaven aspect (or the disproving of it) and too much YuriXestelle in my POV, but.....**

**I need reviews people! REVIEWS!**


	3. YUK! YuriXZagi

**YAY reviews! Thank you for reviewing! Glad everyone thinks my fanfic is funny, either that or you're just being courteous, cuz my friends think that I can be really lame, so I hope its really funny, and not just because you are nice people out there.**

**Okays....then, despite the fact that only one person actually answered the question I posed last chapter, I will continue, with the ridiculousness of YuriXZagi!**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00**

"YURI LOWELL!" Zagi screeched, jumping at Yuri. Our all time fave hero leapt away nimbly as the knives plunged into the ground.

"Groan...my number one fan. Don't you EVER get sick of this?!" Yuri said, raising an eyebrow and dodging Zagi's monkey-like moves. "Like, you're becoming kinda stalker-ish?"

"Heh heh heh....scream for mercy, and remember me in hell....HAHAHA!!!" Zagi laughed maniacally...but then, knowing Zagi, that might just be his normal laugh...

"I think we've got a mental case here....a fanatical gay guy here!" Rita commented, launching fireballs at Zagi.

Yuri turned to Rita. "What?! You think Stalker-creep here is gay over me? Ew?"

Rita shrugged. "I mean, it's just my hypothesis, but I think any idiot could deduce that Zagi has a Yuri-complex. I mean, his first encounter with you was to corner Flynn, and now he's taken to pursuing you around the world?"

Yuri turned worriedly to Estelle. She was too busy concentrating on a healing spell to notice their conversation, thankfully. Otherwise she might think Yuri was gay....AGAIN!

Zagi plunged is knives at Yuri again. "Erk!" Yuri dodged and counter-striked. Zagi went rolling back. "Yes....yes! This is getting EXCITING! BWAHAHAHA"

Rita spun with another round of fireballs. "Ew?"

Apparently all this time that idiot Zagi was so intent on killing Yuri that he couldn't even be bothered to listen to their conversations. What a pity, it would have been priceless to see Zagi barf.....okay forget that.

Anyway, since you've played the game, you'll probably have defeated Zagi quite a bunch of times (since he annoyingly likes to appear so many dang times), Yuri whacked the poor idiot senseless and the red haired moron was sent overboard the ship's side. "WAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! I'LL GET YOU YURI LOWELL! I COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOU TOO, IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE MEDDLING KIDS.....keSPLASH!!!" Zagi went.

The exhausted party rested after the attack by Yuri's number one fan. As Rita sat, she turned to Yuri.

"Hey Yuri. Why do you like Zagi?"

"Like, WTH?!" spat Yuri. "What's with you girls thinking I'm gay and all?!"

"Um, well, let's start with the hair. for one thing, it's not really guy-ish to have long and nice black hair..."

"ARGH it's a long story."

"Look, I mean, Zagi has been pursuing us and all...."

"So what?!" Yuri sighed deeply. "Just because I have a gay enemy who wants to pursue me doesn't mean I'M gay, right? Considering you're supposed to be a genius mage, you ..."

"Then prove me wrong." Rita said smugly.

Yuri decided that obviously the best way was to kiss her like he did to Estelle, but he obviously had more morals than THAT. The last thing he needed was a psycho Estelle who went mad and started trying to kill him again.....

So....

Estelle came up to Rita. "Hey Rita, hey Yuri. What are you guys talking about?"

_Perfect timing..._Yuri thought. "Hey Estelle, c'mere a sec, would ya?"

Estelle obediently walked over to Yuri and knelt there gracefully. Yuri looked at Rita.

"You wanted proof?"

He turned, wrapped his arm around Estelle's waist and kissed her fully on the lips.

Estelle was so shocked, she kinda fell over when Yuri let go. Rita's eyes were as wide as dinner plates, but after 2 seconds, she recovered.

"Argh FINE, Yuri. You win. Sheesh, you didn't have to go THAT far...." Rita grumbled as she stood up and walked off.

"Huh. Weird person..." Yuri muttered. Looking at the fallen Estelle, he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Heh heh, Estelle, I think you're gonna have to get used to that....cuz I have a big suspicion that more of this will be coming up soon. Take it as your punishment for mistaking my sexuality in the first place, I suppose..." He then pulled her upright and sat her against a crate, and left her there, as he went off in search of Repede.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0**

**Next chapter:**

"**Hey, why did Duke go to YOUR room, eh Yuri? (wriggles eyebrows suggestively)"**

"**Shut. Up."**

**Hehe, hard to do the pairings itself when there's no evidence. I supposed its easiest to write about YuriXFlynn cuz you actually SEE those pairings about here...**

**My CCA actually is having a chalet party thing, and we're all supposed to dress up as animals. My friend wanted me to dress as Repede . Im going as a cat, cuz I think Rita looks cool in the cat waitress outfit XD**

**Anyway, that same friend suggested I write one chapter about YuriXRepede. I actually intended for it to be the next chapter, but I think I'll work on the YuriXDuke one first. Keep sending in the weirdest requests! Other pairings involving other characters (but they have to be "close" to Yuri enough, cuz he's the main char in this fic) are welcome.**

**Reviews! **

**Please? (blinks eyes sweetly) **


	4. YUK! YuriXDuke

**I don't need anyone to tell me that SCHOOL HOLS ROCK! I'm chocking up 5+ hours on the Xbox everyday (if my mom lets me) and I'm already on the last bits of Tales of Vesperia.**

**I'm gonna kill Duke soon, so this chapter will be pretty appropriate.**

**Yes, the sick and ew-ness of YuriXDuke!**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"So.....Duke SAVED you, and went to YOUR room to talk about Dein Nomos and all that other stuff?" asked Karol, raising an eyebrow.

"Um...yeah..." Yuri said, trying to pry off the still hugging him really tightly Estelle, who was still overjoyed that Yuri was alive. Not that he minded, mind you, just he didn't think that it was very appropriate to display blatant PDA in front of younglings...not that Karol didn't know anything about crushes and love (cough cough Nan hack ahem cough).

"So why does Duke go to YOUR room, and totally ignore us? What's with YOU TWO, HUH?!" Karol demanded.

Rita sighed. She had confirmed that Yuri was straight, although....well, she had her suspicions about that Flynn fella and Yuri. "Hey Karol, do I detect a hint of JEALOUSY here? Do you have a crush on Mister Cool-Sword-Cool-Hair hmm????"

"Aw Rita, don't tease poor little Karol. We know he's perfectly NOT gay...he already likes Nan!" Estelle pointed out, not releasing poor Yuri from her embrace.

"ESTELLE!" Karol yelled, blushing like the roses in the field.

"You know, idiot, keeping a picture of a girl and constantly worrying about her publicly isn't exactly the most secretive way of concealing your love for her." Rita said, rolling her eyes.

"GARRRGHH!!!" Karol groaned in frustration. "Yuri, are you gay?"

"Oh no....not this again."

"I mean, you're pushing Estelle away..."

"Look, kid. You wanna catch some M rated lover stuff between them, go read a fanfiction." Raven said, sighing. At everyone's blank stares at Raven (even Yuri), Raven shrugged. "What? I read through some YuriXEstelle fanfictions in that book that Estelle _thought_ she burnt." Raven winked, and Yuri noticed a bandaged hand of Raven's.

"You know what, old man? I don't even WANT to know what's in that book...." Yuri said, sticking out a tongue. Finally, he relented.

"Alright, we have some time before we head off to Dahngrest. I think we have some time to prove to Karol that I'm straight?"

"Only about THIS pairing..." Karol compromised.

Yuri sighed. A hero's work was never done.

xXxXxXxXx

"Your highness Ioder! Mail arrived." The knight at the door handed Ioder a letter. It was a fairly small letter in a small pale blue envelope. It was indeed addressed to him, and he wondered who it was from.

He tore is open with a silver letter opener. He placed the envelope in a graceful way on the graceful table. He gracefully placed the letter opener on top of the envelope. His eyes gracefully read the contents of the letter.

Then his face grew to a not very graceful shade of crimson, then a violent lava red.

He stood up in a very commoner way, spat on the graceful envelope in a Lower Quarter sort of way, and swore in the way a sailor would.

"FLYNN SCIFO YOU (blanket blanky blank)! You WILL (blanket blank BLANK) PAY FOR THIS!!!"

Ioder grabbed a silver sword (that looked out of place in an ungraceful Ioder's hand, since it was made to look graceful) and ran out of the room, pushing past the guard who handed him the letter.

The knight picked up the letter, and barely stifed a laugh.

xXxXxxxxxxxx

Yuri was laughing his head off.

"Aw, Yuri, you didn't have to be SO mean to Ioder....actually, I kinda pity Flynn when Ioder gets his hands on him." Judith commented, laughing a bit too.

"Yeah. Poor kid will be clueless when he gets pummelled for 'marrying the royal guy's distant cousin'." Raven said.

Estelle pouted. "Why did you have to do that? I mean, poor Flynn! And why did you have to write that Flynn wanted to marry me?"

Yuri wiped tears from his eyes. "Ahaha....haha...well, we know he has a thing for you, and Ioder's probably no match for Flynn...hahaha!"

Karol stamped his foot childishly. "But that doesn't prove that you're straight! It just proves that you're really, REALLY CHILDISH!"

Rita rolled her eyes. "You're one to say, Karol."

Yuri had stopped laughing already. "Ah okay, fine, captain Karol."

He swept up Estelle, and kissed her as usual on the lips. She kissed back (they had been practicing. Don't ask.) and they were soon caught up in a passionate and a bit soap opera-ish make out thing.

Karol's jaw hung. He swayed, and collapsed.

"Kid, think before you wish for something." Raven tutted, shaking his head. "Ah, the joys of youth love."

The couple finally broke apart. "Man I never get tired of this method." Yuri took a deep breath, grinning like a young teen who just kissed his crush.

Judith raised en eyebrow. "You guys have improved at the act. One thing though.... if you knew this was going to be enough as proof, why did you send Ioder off on that wild goose chase?"

Yuri grinned even wider. "Cuz I wanted to see his reaction."

Suddenly, two voices came from behind the wall they were hiding. "YURI I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING THERE SOMEWHERE! WHY DID YOU SEND THAT MORONIC LETTER AND FRAME ME.....ACK!!! IODER STOPPPPPP!!!!"

"GET AWAY FROM MY COUSIN YOU (blank blank blank) TAKE _THAT!!!!_"

Rita whistled. "Hm. Didn't know Ioder had quite a hand in magic."

Yuri had grabbed Estelle. "Shut up and RUN! Where's Ba'ul when you NEED him?!"

**o0o0o0o0o0**

**Okay that's the end of chapter 4! How was it?**

**Actually I wanted Duke to pop out and then try killing them but then I wanted to add in the part of sending Ioder the letter for fun...**

**seems now I'm just writing how Yuri PROVES his sexuality, instead of the pairings.**

**I promise, I've got the next chapter worked out!**

**SNEAK PEEK!**

"**What's up with you and my Second in Command, Yuri? " Flynn glared at Yuri.**

"**AAAARRRGGGHHHHH ah well at least it's not a guy....right?" Yuri grinned stupidly before toppling over into the chair in frustration and sudden exhaustion.**


	5. YUK! YuriXSodia

**Hmm, I see that YuriXSodia ain't popular with most of you guys, huh.**

**Well, YuriXAlexei doesn't even make any SENSE! YuriXRita? Um, Rita would kill the person who suggested that. **

**(light bulb pops up above head)**

**On the other hand, seeing karol/Judith/raven on fire would be DELIGHTFUL! **

**I just finished Tales of Vesperia today, and Duke is pretty easy to kill, and I was playing as a lvl 59 Rita.**

**o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Yuri and Flynn were chatting in his room, while the rest of them hung around exploring Aurnion. Estelle had been unwilling at first to leave her darling (cough) with a guy she suspected may be gay with Yuri, but then after some reassuring behind a bunch of trees (don't ask. You DON'T want to know....unless you're a YuriXEstelle fan), she left him and his good buddy alone in Flynn's cabin.

"So....how's thing going around now? You're practically unofficial governor of this little place." Yuri commented, lying on Flynn's bed.

Flynn sighed. "Heh, you make it seem like I have such an easy time, acting like a king." He looked at Yuri from the bed across his. "Well, compared to you, going around, saving the world from the Adephagos, my life is pretty much normal around here."

Yuri nodded. It had been quite some time since the fight with Duke and all that. Now it was just great to travel the world and complete all those nifty tasks that he didn't have time to do, what with chasing psychotic maniacs and exterminating authority with extreme prejudice (thats the fancy way of saying "assassinate", but please ignore the more barbaric term :D), he rarely had time to smell the flowers...(because usually they turned out to be some weird monster that turned around and tried to kill him).

The two childhood friends lay in the beds in companionable silence. Well, at least, that's what Yuri thought it was.

Suddenly, Flynn spoke up. He asked a question that had been bugging him since it started.

"Yuri, is there something between you and Sodia?"

Yuri sat bolt upright. If he had liquid in his mouth, it would have spewed out and made a more dramatic effect, but it's a pity knights don't drink wine. Or if they did manage to smuggle some into camp, they don't share it.

Flynn barely noticed Yuri's dramatic reaction. "I mean, after that time in Zaude, she's been really...quiet. Less forceful. She seems to....silent and...is it me, or does she seem to be more ...shy around you?"

Yuri sighed. "Estelle would be so mad with me if she thought that what you said was true."

Flynn brightened up. "You guys are going steady now?"

Yuri eyed Flynn with the corner of his eye. "I. Am. Not. Having. An. Affair. With. Your. BLIDDY EFFING SECOND IN COMMAND!!!!" He exploded.

Flynn looked at Yuri. "Then what is the reason for her strange behaviour?"

Yuri sighed again. He then explained all that happened after he was hurt by protecting Yuri from the laser "Which, by the way, thanks a lot, Flynn!" Yuri said, grinning.

Middle of all this, Sodia came into Flynn's room. Because Yuri was lying down, Sodia couldn't really say for sure who the person Flynn was talking to was. The two guys didn't hear her come in, and Yuri continued with his story.

"Yeah, and then Alexei went SQUISH under the big blastia, and then there was all that debris. Then I looked up and thought to myself, then I turned around, and oops, your darling little second in command pops up behind me and sticks her blade into me."

Flynn gasped. So did Sodia.

"YURI LOWELL!!!" Sodia screamed in outrage.

Both men jerked upright in their beds and stared at Sodia.

Sodia screamed.

The two guys exchanged puzzled looks. You see, from Sodia's POV, it looked like they were on the same bed.

After a bunch of screaming, shouting, repairing the door (which Sodia kept trying to run out of but in her confusion ended up slamming against it repeatedly until it broke, but her head was only bruised....weird), The three sat on opposite beds.

"Yuri Lowell. You said you wouldn't tell!" Sodia growled at Yuri. She turned to Flynn, and said "I...I...I wanted to protect you!"

"From my own best friend?!" Flynn said, outraged. He calmed himself down. "Look Sodia, I know you think that Yuri isn't suited to be my friend, but trust me, he's the best friend I could wish for, ever. He's like a brother to me!"

Yuri looked at Flynn. "I'm touched, Commandant Flynn. "

Sodia growled, with tears in her eyes. "You don't need a criminal standing beside you...you have ME!!!"

Flynn and Yuri stared at Sodia.

Yuri burst out laughing. "I knew it! Sir Flynn, looks like I don't have to worry about you not getting a partner anytime soon, man! AHAHA!!!"

Sodia blushed bright red. "W...w..Watch your mouth, Yuri Lowell!"

Flynn, also pinkish, said "Sodia..." but not really angrily.

Yuri stood. "Ahh, Flynn, and you thought that me and her had something between us..."

Sodia glared at Flynn. "You WHAT?!"

Yuri laughed. "Watch how you talk to your Commandant, miss! The only thing between us is a knife...in my ribs!"

Sodia grew even redder. "YURI LOWELL I CAN SWEAR THAT I WILL GET YOU ONE DAY!!!" She screamed after Yuri as he left the cabin. From the corner of his eye he saw Flynn stop Sodia from going after him. He grinned even wider and left.

He didn't get far.

"YURIAREYOUOKAYYOUDIDN'TDOANYTHINGSICKWITHFLYNNRIGHTRIGHTRIGHT?!?!" Estelle tackled Yuri with a hug and a long question.

Yuri laughed. "Nope, but I think soon, we may be asked to be godparents....hehehe!"

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**was this better?**

**See? Not a YuriXSodia, but a SodiaXFlynn!**

**Ah wells.**

**Stay tuned, REVIEWS!**

**Sneak peek:**

"**What, you jealous? You actually like Yuri?!"**

"**What?! SHUT UP! Idiot...."**

**this won't be pinned on yuri, but it will be....**

**; ) no prizes for guessing who 'likes' Yuri this time, although, in reality, I don't think it is entirely false....**


	6. YUK! RitaXYuri

**Congratulations to those not stupid enough to think that the accused was....I dunno, Yuri? Estelle? Judith? Whoever?**

**Yes, from the title, it should be pretty obvious, since quite a bunch of people have been hoping for some YuriXRita. Although I can't see for the life of me how a twenty one year old adult male will like a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL, unless he was a paedophile of sorts....(shudder).**

**Well, I still remember what he said to her in the hot spring baths......brrr....**

**o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Rita had noticed when Yuri offered his hand to Estelle when Flynn wanted to take her back in Dahngrest.

She'd noticed when Yuri caught her every time she collapsed from overdoing her powers.

Problem was, Judith noticed her noticing.

We would be lying if we said that Judith was an expert in love. In fact, the whole issue about having Raven around was probably her first encounter with any type of infatuation at all. Not that she couldn't handle herself...she was well versed in romance novels, and watched enough Kriityan movies...Raven made great practice in fooling the old, desperate and pervertic.

So it was after all the Adephagos mess when she noticed Rita staring wistfully (?) at Yuri and Estelle talking or sharing a good laugh together.

"They look so happy together, huh?" Judith sighed, sliding to where the young mage sat, face in hands.

"Hmm...who?"

"Yuri and Estelle. A strange pairing, no less, since one was brought up of high stature, and the other of the lower quarter of Zaphias."

"Hmm, I suppose so." Rita put her hands in her lap, and sighed a deep sigh that the sand particles before her blew toward the two that were watched.

"But then, Yuri isn't really all that undesirable, is he, now. Quite the cute looking one, hmm?"

When Judith received no reply, she caught on. Looking playfully at Rita, still forlorn, she smiled.

"What, you jealous? You actually like Yuri?!"

"What?! SHUT UP! Idiot...." Rita immediately protested, standing so quickly and shouting that even Raven and Karol turned their heads, even though the were in the next room of the inn.

"Hush, no need to be so furious." Judith calmly said.

Rita stamped her foot a bit angrily, but sat again, although a bit further from Judith than before.

"So...am I right?" Judith asked when Rita seemed to have calmed enough. She didn't look like she was going to fire a bunch of fireballs at her any moment....gulp.

Rita sighed. "I'm happy for Estelle, if Yuri really likes her and vice versa. She needs a great guy...or at least, as great and encouraging and kind as Yuri is...Yuri is perfect for her. It's great. Just....great." Rita gave a weak smile.

Judith was just glad that the usually silent and shut up mage was opening up to her. "But...?" She encouraged.

Rita fell back on the couch, eyes shut tight. "She has her perfect match. The little twerp has got his girl...that Hunting Blades girl, Nan, or something..., Raven, being a _Captain_, or at least, with his charmingness, doesn't really need a girl..." Rita opened an eye and eyed Judith. "Oh wait, he has you..."

Judith rolled her eyes. "Please. My standards are way higher. Raven hardly makes 'acceptable'."

Rita sighed. "With your looks, you'll probably have no problem finding some Krityan male."

Judith rolled her eyes again. "The Kritya are quite boring...I much rather prefer a human. But NOT RAVEN. Still no."

Rita continued. "_Still._ Precisely. You have your ways to get a mate, easy pease. "

She rolled on her side, away from Judith. "Then you have me. The hopeless weirdo that everyone ignores. So I'm smart, so I could figure everything that was needed in the world. So what? Brains never attract cute guys, only creepy nerds from Aspio. There's no guy like Yuri who would like me!"

"Ah, hormones. It's the age, I suppose." Raven sighed, walking out of the room he and Karol were in, practising sparring.

Rita jumped up and flamed the captain. As in, not like writing in a bad review or something, as in...

"Oh flickering blaze BURN....FIREBALL!!!!!"

"WAAUUGGH!!!" Raven screamed, running around like a guy on fire....oh wait, he WAS a guy on fire. Judith dumped her glass of water on him. Raven smoothed his hair. "Yeah baby...that's how ya know I'm HOT."

Judith rolled her eyes. "Keep trying, old man. Keep trying."

Raven pouted, then turned to Rita, with that serious look. "So Yuri's your idea of a perfect guy?"

Rita shrugged. "I haven't known many men in my life, and the closest I've been to any guy is you, Yuri and Karol. Obviously I'll rather marry the dog than go steady with that idiot, and you are out of the question, so....yes, Yuri is the closest to great here."

Raven did his signature backflip. "Sorry kid, appears the young man is off the market. Sold to the princess in pink hair. What you need," Raven snapped his fingers, twirled and did a backflip. "...is to attract a male...from scratch, with a little help from..."he did another backflip."...the _expert."_ Raven pointed to himself.

Judith was chuckling softly to herself behind her hand. Rita thought critically for a while. you could practically see the charts and analysis going on behind her eyes.

Raven sighed. "We're gonna need a lot of work on this girl. For one thing, if a guy asks, "Want a pint of beer?", you can't analyse all the pros and cons of the guy while making him wait. "

After a while, he added, "But then, if the guy has spiked the drink, you could always flame him later."

xxxxxxxxx

"This. Is. RIDICULOUS!!!!"

Raven and Judith had picked out an outfit for Rita's first scouting for guys in the Dahngrest Sagittarius Tavern. Apparently, they both decided it had to be sufficiently sexy, yet not slutty. Which was tough when we are talking about fitting in a girl, aged 15, tomboy, genius mage, and flat chest.

Well they found it. It looked a bit...revealing. In fact it was the only revealing thing that Rita had worn in her whole life.

"Raven here. Progress report, Judy baby. First guy, chap from .... Battlers guild. Hunk, quite smooth with the other ladies. only had one glass of cocktail dumped on head. No where as hot as _moi..._"

Judith sighed. In the transceiver, she replied. "Raven, get back to monitoring her progress, and stop being so bliddy ego."

Raven went back to monitoring their 'student'.

Rita looked at the guy. He didn't look all that impressive, but then, maybe this was just practise.

"Hey baby. Your old man must have been a thief." he grinned, showing shiny white teeth.

Rita's eye twitched. Was this guy _mocking_ the genius mage of Aspio. Oh, he was going to PAY.

The man continued. "He stole the stars and placed them into your eyes..."

Rita's eye twitched. That was IT. This was STUPID.

Raven shut his eyes and ducked behind the barrels he was hiding behind.

"Waauugh! CRASSSHHHHH No...no...NO!!! MERCY, MERCY....ARGH!!! Argh.....BASh....argh no...NO! Not the FACE! Ooh...not the FACE, woman! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAuuuuuu...'

the man flew through the barrels and crashed into the walls in front of Raven. The bloodied man slid down. Raven poked him. "He'll live..." Raven breathed into the transceiver.

Rita yelled her fury, and stormed out of the tavern, leaving shocked looks and some cheering.

Judith shook her head at Rita outside. "Maybe some people where just best left single..."

Rita shook her head furiously. "If all men are like that, I think even Yuri might scare me some day..."

"I see...." Yuri laughed from behind them.

Rita blushed furiously. "ARGH YOU IDIOT!" She ran off, furious.

Yuri shrugged. "Hmm, she's worse than I am in the taverns. Maybe she'll find her perfect guy some day..."

Judith sighed. "Trouble is, the guy she thinks is perfect is taken." She looked pointedly at Yuri. His eyes widened, but said nothing.

Thankfully, Raven came out of the tavern with the latest progress report. "The guy is seriously comatose. Phew...."

Yuri looked at the retreating mage.

**o0o0o0o0o0**

**I think this entire chapter could have made a whole oneshot on its own... Uhoh**

**Okay, fine, the newly awaited YuriX....**

"**Woof!"**

"**OUCH!!! Geez, you didn't have to bite so hard. I was just asking....SHEESH!"**

**Maybe they'll ask them together? ;)**


	7. YUK! YuriXRepede

**I think only a complete and utter moron could have NOT guessed this one. No offense to you complete and utter sorry idiot out there. You are pardoned if you do not play Tales of Vesperia. Otherwise...WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?!**

**Yup, the pairing I have put aside for WAY too long.**

**Repede: Woof.**

**Lifiea Chancelot: Let go of my arm, Repede. I can't type with teeth in my writing limb.**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Dum dee dum dee dum.

After the Adephagos, fighting normal monsters becomes a MAJOR bore. In the end, if you want to do any REAL levelling, you have to go hunt giganto monsters, or go to the tower of Tar...tar....Tarquron? Tarqoron? Tar....something.

Yuri plunged his sword into the belly of the Medusa Butterfly. There was the usual flash of light, and then they found themselves in a cool formation, facing one direction. No one ever thought of why this happened after every battle, for some very strange reason. They would just decide that the person who dealt the final blow should say/do something cool.

Yuri smiled heroically. "Yeah!"

Repede let out his victory cry. "Ah WOOOOoOo!!!!"

Rita commented, "They know each other WAY too well."

Then they continued on their way.

The party, exhausted but extremely energetic and happy after killing the monster, headed to Mantaic's inn.

"Back from another hunt, sir?" The innkeeper smiled.

Yuri grinned, dusty but elated. "Yup! We brought you a souvenir!" Yuri dumped a portion of the wing on the table.

"Hmm, it could fetch a high price on the markets, I suppose." The Innkeeper ignored Yuri's hopeful smile. "That will be 400 Gald for the night."

Yuri's smile faded. He dumped the small money bag on the table, and grabbed the wing out of the innkeeper's hand. The man looked in his hand, as if contemplating whether the wing was ever there to begin with...

xxxxx

Sitting on the bed, Karol was thinking hard.

Yuri walked over to the boy. "What's on your mind, kid?"

Karol eyed Yuri suspiciously.

Yuri felt the uncomfortable feeling in his chest. "Oh no....alright, who is it THIS time...(please not be a guy....PLEASE not be a guy...)"

Karol spoke. "Oh, I was just thinking....how do you know Repede?"

Yuri relaxed. "Repede? Oh, he was owned by the previous resident of the room I rent in the lower quarter. When the old man," Raven turned at the sound of his nickname, but was ignored. "...died, Repede was passed to me, the next tenant. I was 11 when given the room. Repede was only a little puppy then."

Karol looked at his feet, dangling over the edge of the bed. "You've known him for like, all his life?"

Yuri smiled. "Yup. He was so cute then..." Repede, at Yuri's feet, growled. "I mean, he's still cute. Humph, and for such an old man he still wants to be thought as cute..."

Raven yelled from the next room. "WILL YOU STOP SAYING 'OLD MAN' WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR ME?!?!"

Yuri ignored the outburst. "Why do you ask anyway, Karol?"

The boy looked up, serious. "You and Repede....you know each other SO well. You know his inner thoughts and all that. You love him, don't you. "

Yuri hadn't quite caught on. "I've known Repede for ten years, I've brought him up, and he's like my only family, of COURSE I love him."

Karol jumped up. "YOU ADMIT IT!"

Yuri got it. "Damnit! Must have been that blow to the head that's making me blur today...NO, Karol! I'm not a ....a...trisexual or something. First it was Flynn, then Raven, then you guys think I'm some sort of Casanova, then ......now...YOU THINK I LOVE SOME ANIMAL?!"

Repede seemed to understand his owner's distress. "RAWR"

Karol screamed. "REPEDE! ARGH, THE DOG'S DRAWN BLAHD!!!!! ARRHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Rita ran into the room, followed closely by Estelle and Raven. Judith had gone off, no doubt wandering off on her own. "What's going on, Yuri?!" Rita demanded.

Raven scowled. "Old people need their sleep! I'm not as young as I used to be, being able to fight like that .... " To demonstrate his point, he did a backflip, landed perfectly, and then a 'crack' sound came from his back.

"Ow." Raven said, matter-of-factly.

Estelle held Repede. "Repede! Please, stop trying to kill Karol!" Yuri sighed, and that seemed to calm Repede. The enraged dog released the boy, but sat near Yuri, growling not-too-softly at all.

Yuri protested childishly. "What's with you people?! You first think I'm gay, then I'm some sort of Casanova, then you think I'm in love with an ANIMAL?!"

Raven's eyes widened. "I said nothing!" And dashed out of the room, not wanting to hear more about gays and people who might be better or worse than him, depending on how you thought of Raven.

Rita's eyebrow raised. "Ah, misunderstandings? A trisexual?" Looking at Karol (who was being healed by Estelle), she nodded. "The squirt might be right for once..."

Repede growled REALLY loudly, and Rita stared the dog down. She held out her book and prepared to shout "Decartes!" at any moment soon...

Yuri groaned. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" He fell back on his bed. Estelle sighed. "Karol, Yuri is perfectly straight. I mean..."

Karol winced. "He may be bisexual, and like BOTH guys and girls..."

Estelle didn't want to consider that possibility. "Yuri..."

Yuri groaned. "Look, if I was gay, someone would have spotted me making out with Flynn by now! Since, I'm sorta the blunt type, it would have been obvious!"

Rita thought for a while. "Well, if Sodia had noticed, that would explain her hatred toward you....jealous of someone stealing her crush..."

Yuri was furious. "I CAN'T BLIDDY 'ELL SEE WHAT IS YOU PROBLEM!!! DO I HAVE TO GO STEADY WITH ESTELLE TO PROVE MY POINT?!"

The looks between Rita and Karol was scary.

"Oh .....no...." Yuri fell back on the bed again. Estelle looked at Yuri, her eyes and expression undecipherable.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Yes, finito!**

**I haven't got much idea of what to write next. I'm thinking Judy and Yuri. **

**If you have a better idea, or approve of my next idea, mention it in your review.**

**Yes, I am no mind reader. You have to REVIEW if you want me to IMPROVE.**

_**possible SNEAK PEEK:**_

"**GET AWAY FROM MY JUDY DARLIN'!!!"**

"**AAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS FILTHY DISILLUTIONED PERVERT WAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!" **


	8. YUK! JudithXYuri

**Ahh.....this will be the last chapter.......until next week!**

**HA! GOTCHA! Did you get scared? huhhuhhuh?! Did you think that I would actually END this series NOW?! Just because I'm getting so darn sick of playing in Nordopolica that I replayed the thing? Huh? Huh? HUH?!**

**Yessss, Judy will be making Raven jealous of Yuri, just for the heck of it! Yup, you can guess that in real life, I'm quite random and weird too. (You have to be random and weird to write humorous fanfics!)**

**Oh, and about the delay, I shall be in HK for an Art Trip. Yes, I'm the artistic sort. No, I can't draw Yuri. Sighs dreamily.....**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

From his agitatedness Karol asked why Raven was so nervous.

"Boy, I MUST KNOW!"

Karol raised an eyebrow. "Know what? Judith's cup size?" Karol, the young child, hardly even knew what 'cup size' was....he just overheard Raven mutter something like that in his sleep, and Yuri was getting worried about what sharing a room with the old man was going to do with his young influential mind.

Raven continued his hysterical mutterings. "No....I already know that. But I must know, Judy darling, who she prefers!"

Karol rolled his eyes. "if you're gonna compare yourself with that Krityan guy in Aspio, I think you're..."

Raven wrung his hands in front of the boy. "Between ME and that young man, Yuri! I mean, I've seen that...(insert vulgarity), he runs his eyes over her boobs when he thinks I'm not looking! Ooh, that (insert same vulgarity as mentioned above)..."

Karol sighed. 'Raven, I thought it was clear that Judith doesn't like you! Besides, she's single, and not attached to you...Yuri has every right to look at her!"

Raven growled. "I shall find out! And if she deems me fit to be hers, Yuri is GOING DOWN!!!"

Karol didn't bother to warn Yuri, because there was no threat, at all!

xxxxxx

"No."

"WHHAAAAT?!~~~""

"Nope!" Judith smiled brightly. You could almost hear Raven's heart ...wait, _blastia thing_ fall to pieces. (pling...pliang....)

"You....Judy darlin', how COULD you do this to this poor, poor old man?...." Raven pleaded. "You like Yuri, don't you, a man more around your age..."

Judith sighed. "I don't love Yuri..."

"Then who blocks the way between me and your heart?"

"A thousand factors, of which none are any particular guy." Then Judith came up with a rather sneaky idea...

"You have no chance with me, old man." her final rebut as she turned and left a staggering 'anguished' perverted old man.

xxxxxxxxx

"Sure, it sounds like a GREAT idea, Judith!" Estelle smiled. Judith was surprised.

" You're not afraid I'll charm your _boyfriend _from you?"

Estelle smiled. "If he does, then he's not a good boyfriend, right? Besides...he's not REALLY my boyfriend..."

"..or at least, not yet!"

xxxxxxxxx

Yuri had his suspicions. Maybe it came from years of being chased by knights, authority, and generally everyone, but he KNEW something was up here.

"Judith, is this some sort of date?"

Estelle had forced Yuri to dress up in a nice suit and take Judith out for dinner, only Judith had asked HIM, and not he asking HER. He immediately guessed that they were in cahoots or something.

"Yes!" Judith smiled brightly.

Judith had picked the most.....seductive dress she could find. It barely covered her chest and was a really high cut at the sides dress, in a deep blue that just screamed seductive.

Yuri was feeling weird, and it wasn't the oysters. Estelle had agreed to pay for the meal from her castle funds, so it wasn't the expected bill. He hoped it wasn't Judith's dress...Estelle would have his guts for lunch if it was. Maybe it was the feeling that he was being watched, and being watched by someone very, very sinister. He turned....

xxxxxxxx

Raven was furious.

Estelle had told him to go to this fancy restaurant, her treat, she said. She told him to dress up nicely, comb his hair down, and at the end of it, he looked like ol' Schwann again.

"But this isn't me! And I don't even have a date! Why do I bother to look like this?!" he had protested, but he HAD to listen to a sweet young innocent looking princess, didn't he? He just HAD to.

And now, he was watching his darlin' Judy with another man, one that was ATTACHED?!

xxxxxxx

Judith bent over the table so Yuri could see her full chest. Yuri wasn't going to decline on a little eye candy, but then he wasn't going to give up so easily.

"You look ravishing in that dress, Judy. What's the event?"

"Hm? Spending this _romantic night _with a _hot guy...._"

Raven's jaw dropped.

Suddenly the whole place slowed to slow motion, as Judith placed a slim hand on Yuri's cheek.

Raven pounced out of his chair. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Judith had backed off, not expecting such a _brilliant _response.

Yuri had turned. "ZOMG!" He gasped.

Raven pushed Yuri in an arc off his chair and the both of them rolled into the glass aquarium, smashing the glass and having live lobsters all over the nicely dressed men.

Then time resumed. Normally.

"YOU BASTARD, TAKING MY JUDY FROM ME!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!! LEGGO OF MY HAIR you BEEPING BEEPING MORON!!!"

All hell broke loose. Yuri had unleashed the lobsters onto Raven, and Raven wasn't letting go of Yuri's long hair. Judith was too busy laughing, and Estelle, who had been watching from a corner, was hysterical, clueless as to what to do.

Eventually, the two men relaxed. Soaking wet and covered with bruises. The four gathered at the table, at Estelle's bidding, and Judith was forced to explain.

"Estelle, how could you, I _trusted you!!!_" Raven sobbed dramatically.

Yuri sighed. "Well, at least I guessed there was something up..."

Estelle had healed their bruises. Raven sighed. "So Yuri, there was nothing between you and Judith?"

"No...I thought it was clear."

"Good point. " And he left, with Judith following to tease him further.

Yuri and Estelle were left sitting at the table, with dessert freshly served. Estelle looked at Yuri hopefully.

"Maybe...um, this could be, uh, um, sort of like....a date between us? With only dessert?"

"Fine by me. Say, what a _ravishing _dress you're wearing tonight...." Yuri said, putting on his best charms...

**o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**Whee.**

**Anyway, YOU PEOPLE, IF YOU HAVE TIME TO READ MY FANFIC, YOU HAVE TIME TO WRITE ONE! I'm getting tired of having to read every single fanfic on this section, since I'm the only one who updates. PEOPLE, WRITE!**

**Or else, I'M GOING ON STRIKE!!!**


	9. YUK! EstelleXFlynn

**Thank you for actually taking my vicious warning seriously! I see new fanfics! I know there was one that mentioned me (sorry I'm currently reading DGM fanfics so I'm not sure who that was but glad to know people love me! yeah!)**

**Anyway, no one can be seriously bad in writing. I mean, all you need is to describe more emotions and stuff, add in proper humour, update a lot, and tada! Besides, I think most are older than me, and yet I write better? Don't think so! (I'm only 13 btw)**

**This fanfic is brought to you by Charon. Remember, if you're heading to Disneyland, DON'T GO TO HONG KONG'S! It is BORING! And if you do, remember, only Space Mountain is funnnnn!**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

(This shall be in Yuri's POV ...cuz I want it to be. NYEAH)

I was bored.

Really bored.

I have to admit, when the whole thing about the Adephagos was about, things were more fun and exciting. Now, the only place you could get a good fight was at the Nordopolica coliseum.

Which was precisely where we were now.

"Hmm, a challenge letter from Flynn darling." No, I'm not gay. Estelle was beside me and I thought that it should have been my turn for some fun...

Unfortunately, I don't think before I tease.

"YOU'RE GAY, YURI?!" Estelle hollered again.

"ARGH!" I decided to cut straight to the point. "Estelle, Flynn is really the ladies man, huh? Weren't you ever JEALOUS?"

"I did NOT have a crush on him!'

"Oh, right, sorry. You guys were going steady already!"

"...didn't we have some sort of argument like this in Halure?"

"...aHA!!! You admit it!"

"...Yuri..."

I kinda felt sorta childish now. I mean, why the heck should I be teasing my close-to-girlfriend about my best friend whom she used to think I'm gay with?

"Argh, that was so LONG ago, Yuri..."

"Yeah, you only have eyes for me now, right?" I flashed my teeth at her, hopefully.

All I got was a wet towel thrown onto my face.

"MY EYES!!! THEY BUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN!!!" I screamed in dramaticness.

I felt the familiar wash of her power wash over me when she did her first aid, but when I ripped the cloth off my eyes, I saw her heading to the centre of the coliseum.

"Oh man, I think I may have overdone it, huh..." I muttered Repede, who was resting after his 80 man melee.

xxxxxx

_And we have Estelle of Brave Vesperia...the Seeker of Truth!"_

"Um, I'll give my best!"

_She will face off with only one person, and that will be the great Commandant Flynn Scifo, who has made a special trip to Nordopolica to battle this guild's members!_

WHAT?! I think my jaw dropped onto Repede's back. He wasn't too happy about that...

"Sorry Repede. Damn, what's HE doing here..." I muttered.

Flynn stepped out in his gleaming awesomeness (Note the large amounts of sarcasm dripping off the well oiled armour here...), grasping his sword. When he saw Estelle, I think I saw something that was more than shock...

...damn, was that....worry?!

...

The fight begun.

I couldn't hear what they were saying at the time. Estelle stabbed at Flynn, while he easily deflected it. He swept past her in a flurry, and I guess my emotions made the whole thing look so romantic.

Damnit.

He flashed by her and hit her, in an impersonation of my Ghost Wolf, and Estelle cried out. She activated her Over Limit in a blast and ...

"Angel Ring!"

"Photon!"

"Lance!"

She blasted out her best moves and Flynn was lost in a blast of light, one after the other. Then he leapt out and stabbed her.

She gasped.

So did he.

I saw him say something to her, and then she spun out, but then he caught her in one of his arms, in a sort of embrace.

I had had enough.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHH!!!" I, Yuri Lowell, flew like the majestic awesome dark wolf angel I see myself described like in numerous fanfics from the seat and into the centre of the ring.

I almost exploded in a fierce mix of insanity, lovesickness, jealousy, Over Limit and blast arte.

"O brilliant blade of coldest steel…"

"…rend the infinite darkness…"

"…and crush my enemies to nothing!"

"Savage Wolf Fury!" I screamed furiously, practically ripping Flynn and his blithering shiny armour into ribbons.

Of course, no one would have been able to withstand that, so Flynn collapsed on his knees in what was considered 'indecent dressing'.

_Brave Vesperia....wins!!!_

I breathed heavily. I had done it! Finally beaten Flynn, with all the emotions in my sword.

"Flynn! Oh, Yuri, why did you..." She looked worriedly as two guys with a stretcher between them came in and carried the bloodied pulp that was Flynn out.

I hugged Estelle really tightly. "I'm sorry, Estelle. Flynn...he's better than me, probably richer and higher in status compared to gutter scum like me, but please, I'll much rather you didn't pick him..."

I think that was pretty crappy and mushy, but hey, I'm only 21. Give me a break, will ya?

Estelle hugged me back. "Oh Yuri, to me, we were already together..."

"So now we're steady?"

"If you wish."

"Couldn't be happier." I could barely contain the excitement in me in a poker face and a simple smile. I kissed her full on the lips.

Yeah, you can guess the rest.

Then we were booted out of the ring because it was Raven's turn to battle his 50 men...

And also, the people of Nordopolica didn't come to see a romance drama, the came to see violence and blood.

Well, maybe if we had kissed violently enough...

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Yuri: O.O**

**Estelle: O.O**

**Repede: Ruuuffffff.....**

**Me: QUIT CHEWING ON MY ARM JUST BECAUSE YURI'S JAW WHACKED DOWN ON YOUR GORGEOUS FUrRRRRRRRR!!!!**

**sneak peak"**

"**Hey Kauffman." (Yuri)**

"**Hey Yuri." (Kaufman)**

"**...was that a flirteous smile, Yuri?" (mystery suspect)**

"**No." (Yuri)**

"**TELL ME! (Throttles Yuri)" (mystery suspect)**

"**AAAaaaAAAaaaHHHHhhhhHHHHH!!!" (Yuri)**


	10. YUK! YuriXKauffman

**I'm back from New Zealand which is a great place cuz it's nice and cold there! WOOTS!**

**Anyway, sorry for the long wait. Glad to see people like my Survivor: Tales of Vesperia ALL STARS fic! :D**

**Anyway, here is the long awaited YuriXKauffman.**

**(drumroll)**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Yuri and Estelle decided to take a vacation. Although honestly, as Flynn liked to call it, a honeymoon. They hadn't gotten married, of course. They just 'realised their feelings for each other and wanted to go off somewhere alone to do R-rated stuff away from the eyes of the innocent', as Raven put it.

So they decide to take a world trip on foot, and on the way pass Deidon Hold.

Yuri smiles as a young boy waves to them from the store. "Remember when we were here last time, to get to Aspio?"

Estelle smiled back to her dear darling Yuri. (GAG) But then...

Suddenly that paranoid and rather stupid part of Estelle's lovey dovey mind reminded her of something.

"Yuri...you know that...Kauffman..."

Yuri didn't get it yet. "Sure, that tall long red haired quite gorgeous president of Fortune's market. What about her?"

Someone hit Yuri with a brick, please! Preferably a YuriXEstelle fanatic.

Estelle's grip on Yuri's arm tightened.

"I...I think she....well....thinks you're....um....great."

"Great? Ohohoho! Of course she thinks I'm great! EVERYONE thinks I'm great!" Yuri boasted. Someone hit Yuri with TWO bricks, PLEASE.

Estelle, being the romantic softy she is, holds back tears. "She said "I like a guy who doesn't....who does...." She gets frustrated by her memory loss.

"She likes you! And I'm...I'm..."

Yuri can't believe his ears. He really should wash them out harder, like Flynn always said. Ah wells.

"Sheesh, Estelle. Are you ALWAYS to freakingly PARANOID?!"

Then he thought for a moment.

"Or did you just want another smooch?"

Estelle blushed. Just then, a familiar face appeared.

"Kauffman?!" Estelle exclaimed in surprise.

"Well, speak of the devil...." Yuri muttered. "I'm SO totally cursed..."

Kauffman was busy signing something, so she didn't notice the couple, until they approached her.

"Hey Kauffman." Yuri greeted.

"Good afternoon, President." Estelle greeted, unwillingly but her inbreeded manners overpowered her idiotic paranoia.

"Oh, if it isn't Yuri Lowell. fancy bumping into you here..."

"Well, we were taking a vacation, just me and Estelle here."

"Ah, so I see." Kauffman winked at Yuri. "Getting serious, hmm?"

Okay, firstly, I would like to address that, with all the events about Alexei and all the previous chapters in this insane fanfic, I think Estelle's rather simple mind couldn't handle all the stress and competition of both genders to her darling Yuri, thus she had quite a few screws loose.

Sorry for the interruption, but I had to address this so you would understand the following event.

Estelle rugby-tackled Kauffman.

Yes, I know. Horrible, isn't it. Especially since Estelle was wearing one of those bloomy skirts and, with the fact that she's a princess and all that...

time slowed down to slow and very, very, VERY, stupid seconds. Estelle launching herself like a rabid puppy toward her prey...Yuri gaping at Estelle's horrid fashion sense in stockings and underwear...Kauffman shouting...the homies loading their guns/bows...

All in all, you get my drift. CHAOS.

Anyway, what followed after was Kauffman's homies bashing Estelle up and Yuri having to cancel his resort reservations at Aspio, and having to call Judith to fetch them back.

While they waited in a corner, Yuri sighed as he cradled the unconscious princess.

"Now I'm having second thoughts..."

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Don't get the idea that Yuri's gonna dump Estelle. **

**Actually, I'm too busy playing Last Remnant that I can't remember lots of Vesperia things. Oh no.**

**Help!**

**Anyway, the 'homies' thing is from Saints Row cuz my dad plays it. homies, for the ignorant, are like gangster sidekicks. Ahahaha, Kauffman has homies...hahaha.**

**Next, I'm thinking YuriXSodia...**

**since the last one turned out to be more like a YuriXFlynn...**

**:D:D:D:D**

**Actually yuriXflynn would be quite a nice pairing if only it wasn't homo...sigh**

**If only Flynn was a girl...**

**(Gets idea for fanfic...yuriXflynn fanfic...where Flynn's a girl....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)**


	11. YUK! YuriX? Grande Finale

**Sry for not updating. I've been obsessed with a new game Last Remnant so I have kinda forgotten about ToV.**

**I must now leave ToV, and leave the fanfic writing to the next generation of ToV fans.**

**So long, and remember me!**

**Thx for sticking by me during the duration of writing this fanfic.**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o**

They were randomly travelling in some random place, when suddenly, they somehow managed to fly right off the map and into the world of IdiotsRUs aka our world.

They soared over a icy poles, and across a large desert.

"This new world we are exploring seems very different..." Judith murmured.

"Yeah, an awful lot bigger, for one thing!" Karol nodded enthusiastically.

"I might just stay here longer to do some experiments..." muttered Rita.

Yuri rolled his eyes. He felt a strange sense of déjà vu, as they descended over a tiny island. Rita found a little directory to this new world in the glove compartment in the cabin (?!). "The little Red Dot, Garden City...OMG IS THAT A LION MERMAID CROSSBREED ZOMG?!?!?!" Rita exclaimed as she saw the...yeah, if you're living in the Red Dot, you'll know she's talking about the Merlion.

Raven muttered thoughtfully. "Now, what kind of lion would shag a mermaid, or to put it more accurately, which pretty mermaid's gonna let some fuzzy animal shag her?"

"What's a 'shag'?" Karol asked innocently. Yuri casually wondered over and booted Raven so he nearly fell over the edge of the boat.

"WAUGH! Geez, Yuri, ya nearly gave me a HEART ATTACK!" And to demonstrate his point, he did a back flip.

Yuri smiled innocently. "Whoops, I thought I kicked a dirty rat." He flashed a sneaky grin at the old man, that suggested something along the lines of _Wanna see how deep the water is down there?_

They landed somewhere on a rooftop of a mall and entered from the staircase. Yuri led them through a door, and they entered a departmental store. "Woah, this stuff is AWESOME!!!" Rita gleefully danced around, pressing buttons, experimenting around.

Yuri left the workaholic at the computers and walked past a large screen TV. While other normal people (ie not from the game people, as in people like you and me) gaped at the high resolution, Yuri and company gaped at the _contents _on the screen.

"Isn't...that...us, fighting..." Karol stuttered.

Yuri picked up the strange white controller. He pressed the large X button in the center which glowed, because...well...to put it in layman terms, "It was shiny!"

The screen went grey and a window popped out. One of the options read "Continue Playing "Tales of Vesperia"

"Tales of Vesperia? Sounds catchy!" Raven grinned.

Yuri thought about it. "Tales of Brave Vesperia? Tales of Vesperia?" He looked at the screen again. "Is this...a game...of our lives?!"

"No, dummies! This ain't the game of your lives. It IS your life!" said a cheery little voice from behind them.

Repede leapt onto the mysterious speaker, but the speaker grabbed the pooch and set him down and scratched him behind his ears, which made Repede growl happily.

Estelle exclaimed angrily. "He really doesn't like me! HUMPH!"

The speaker was a long haired girl with a pink dress. "I am Lifiea Chancelot, one destined to kill the hermit!" Then she paused, took out a piece of paper from her pocket, scanned it, put it back, then amended her introduction. "Sorry, I meant, I am Lifiea Chancelot, one destined to kill the Onion punners!"

The whole bunch of characters stared at this mysterious girl. "Whut." They said.

"You can call me Lifiea, and..." she smiled, then she grinned insanely. "ZOMG ITS Yuri LOWELL GAH YOU'RE SO HAWT!" Then she smiled sweetly again. "Hiyas Raven!" She winked playfully at him to see a reaction.

He fainted. She laughed.

Yuri was shocked by Lifiea's insane outburst. Estelle, being...the OOC Estelle that she is in this fanfic, glared daggers at Lifiea. "Miss, I suggest you do not try that again, because Yuri is MINE!"

Lifiea grinned happily at Estelle. "Estelle! No worries, mate! I totally support YuriXEstelle!"

Judith stepped forward. "Hello, Lifiea. I gather you know more about us than we know about ourselves even. Now, would you care to tell us how you came across this information?"

"Well, you see, you guys come from a game. And..."

By now, Raven had awoken. "A GAME?! We're from a GAME?! Which means all this time I've been chasing after a bunch of coloured pixels when all this time I thought I was chasing some gorgeous girl..."

Lifiea poked Raven in the ribs so hard he yelped and shut up. "Anyway, I'm a biiiig fan of you guys! Mostly Yuri. But I've finished the game and I know everything there is to know about you guys! Except your age, Judith. That's one of the things I don't know."

Judith smiled. "Good. Then could you tell us how to get out of this insane world?"

o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"...so I have to work this ...thing to call a TeeVee to a portal so we can enter?"

"Yeah! Easy?"

"...who do ya think I am?"

"Rita Mordio, genius mage of Aspio?"

"Affirmative. " Rita called up the control screen and typed faster than I do. Which is saying something.

Before long, she was done. As the crew lined up to walk through the portal in the departmental store, Lifiea glomped Yuri, while pushing him so he pushed against Estelle, who ended up pulling both herself and Yuri into the portal, disappearing into the spectrum of light.

"Wow, that was smooth. " Judith commented.

"I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING IN SPECIAL!" Raven whined. Judith kicked him into the portal. Karol sighed and followed in a less violent manner. Repede followed after, with Judith. Rita configured the portal to vanish after a few seconds. "Perhaps I shall return for experiments. Remember us."

As the portal vanished after Rita, Lifiea's smile vanished like it had never been there.

"Remember me too."

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**I don't know why it seems so sad to leave Tales of Vesperia behind. If you guys caught the meaning behind the last three paragraphs, congrats.**

**btw ??? is a character in Consumption note which is a parody of Death Note as drawn by my insane friend Cupcake aka the Apple Girl. She put all of her friends (including me) into it. Basically, instead of "Whoever's name is written in here shall die" its more like "Whoever's name is written in here shall be eaten". By a cupcake. Kira = Cupcake. I took the role of Mello (Smello...actually thats Lifiea Chancelot. Not me) and Ray Penbar, and MIkami, and one of those random Kiras. But whatever. Unless you know the "King of the new Cupcakey world", you can ignore this paragraph. (I should have told you this earlier, I know. I just wanted you to read this farewell crappation first.)**

**Sayonara, **_**Lifiea Chancelot.**_

**Lifiea Chancelot is my 'name'. It sez so in my profile if you bothered checking.**


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